Robin Stone, LMHC, PLLC
Psychotherapist, Author, Speaker

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Robin D. Stone is a New York City based psychotherapist, coach and consultant who works to help you achieve your most optimal self. 

Posts tagged community
Cultivating Fortitude, Harvesting Resolve: 6 ways to persevere in turbulent times
 

Political change is crashing through the nation, bringing profound shifts in our government and culture. For many, this moment sparks fear, anxiety, and even a sense of isolation. In uncertain times when the ground beneath us feels unsteady and the future seems unclear, it’s easy to feel as though there is no recourse. But history reminds us that we are not alone in struggle, and that we have the strength to overcome, take root, and bloom.

Surveys from last year revealed that the U.S. presidential election and the nation’s future were significant sources of stress for many Americans. Today, I’m hearing from some clients that the tumultuous start of this new presidential administration has only intensified their anxiety. This includes profound fears and worries about the potential consequences of swift, unilateral actions that appear aimed at undoing generations of civil rights progress.

In every era, Black women have stood at the forefront of battles for justice, equality, and human dignity. Our ancestors and elders, from the courageous women of the Civil Rights Movement to the everyday heroes of today, teach us what it means to persevere in the face of unimaginable odds. The times may have changed, but the fight for our rights, our humanity, and our future continues.

As we mount a collective response to this crisis of the nation’s conscience, it’s critical that we be attuned to our bodies and minds to ensure that we will live to fight each day. How do we build the fortitude necessary to carry on? How do we deepen the well of strength from which we draw? Progress is not just about pushing forward—it’s about nourishing your spirit, fortifying your foundation, and creating a life that equips you to resist, persist, and thrive. As Angela Davis describes in this video, practicing Radical Self-care “means being able to bring our entire selves to the movement.” 

Here are six ways to cultivate fortitude and harvest resolve in turbulent times:

1. Sanctify Your Home

Make your home an oasis of peace where you feel safe and affirmed. Surround yourself with items that reflect your culture and history. Consider vibrant African textiles, portraits of family,  elders and ancestors, and other images that honor the beauty of Blackness. When you enter your home, it should feel like stepping into a sacred and welcoming place.

2. Center Yourself

Rosa Parks, the fierce force behind the Montgomery Bus Boycott, was a yogi. Her practice of yoga helped her find calm and clarity amidst chaos. Prayer and meditation, yoga, breath work, and other grounding practices can center your mind and body and nourish your spirit, helping to reduce stress and anxiety. These practices also connect us to a lineage of Black women who have used inner peace as a tool of resistance.

3. Move Your Body

Movement is medicine. Whether it’s dancing to your favorite playlist, taking a walk, or just taking the stairs, physical activity can counteract the effects of stress, anxiety, and depression. Exercise boosts endorphins, sharpens your focus, and taps into the power you hold within your body. 

4. Get Creative.

In 2004, as she reeled from the re-election of George W. Bush, the wise word warrior Toni Morrison quoted a friend who challenged her to start writing: “This is precisely the time when artists go to work—not when everything is fine, but in times of dread,” Morrison recounted in The Nation. Make time to write, draw, paint, curate a playlist, see a play, visit a museum, or find some other way to engage in or with creative expression. Doing so may help you explore and express what you may not be ready or able to say directly. 

5. Get Rest

We often feel the weight of the world on our shoulders, but we cannot fight effectively without rest. The Nap Ministry, a movement founded by Tricia Hersey, reminds us that rest is resistance. Rest allows us to heal and to dream of new possibilities. By prioritizing sleep, naps, and unstructured downtime, we honor our bodies and spirits. Remember, rest is self-preservation.

6. Find Your Community

Fortitude flourishes when individuals come together. Black women have always looked to one another—whether in houses of worship, salons, or social justice circles—to strategize, support, and strengthen our collective determination. Find like-minded people who understand your struggles and your triumphs. Win With Black Women and Higher Heights for America are among the many politically oriented groups supporting the engagement and advancement of Black women.  Together, you can create strategies to support not only yourself but also your community.

An Invitation to Deepen Your Well of Resolve

I invite you to grab your journal and take 5 minutes to write and reflect. Listen to and consider the lyrics of Sweet Honey in the Rock’s song, “I’m Gon’ Stand:”

We shall not bow down to racism

We shall not bow down to injustice

We shall not bow down to exploitation 

Whatchya gonna do?


I’m gon’ stand!

I’m gon’ stand!

I’m gon’ stand!

I’m gon’ stand! 

I just can’t tolerate racism

I just can’t tolerate injustice

I just won’t tolerate exploitation

Whatcha gonna do?

I’m Gon’ Stand!

I’m Gon’ Stand!

I’m Gon’ Stand!

I’m Gon’ Stand!

We will not obey racism

We will not obey injustice

We will not obey exploitation

I’m Gon’ Stand!

I’m Gon’ Stand!

I’m Gon’ Stand!

I’m Gon’ Stand!

Write about how these words resonate with you. Consider what it means to stand in today’s world? Write freely, with no concern about grammar, spelling or prying eyes.


When you’re done, read what you wrote and consider what thoughts and feelings your words bring up. Then take a few more minutes to write about how your own words inspire you to strengthen your resolve and nurture your fortitude for the battles ahead.

 
Community and Connection: A Balm for Black Women’s Blues at Work
 

In recent months, a series of news stories focused attention on the plight of Black women in academia. First, Harvard’s former president, Claudine Gay, was publicly lambasted during a Congressional hearing about antisemitism on college campuses. Within weeks, she was forced out of her job. In January, news broke about the suicide of Antoinette “Bonnie” Candia-Bailey, vice president of student affairs at Lincoln University in Missouri. In an email sent the day she died, Candia-Bailey had told a friend that she suffered from harassment and bullying at work.

These events triggered alarm among Black women across the country. They led to organized webinars and forums, as well as informal conversations about how sisters in academia are under assault. During one panel that I attended, “Saving Ourselves, Saving Our Sistas,” a group of Black female panelists from academia talked about the need to invite mental health professionals into future discussions and shared their self-care routines. 

It’s no surprise that Black women are under assault – and it’s not just in academia. Many of us working in different sectors are suffering with workplace bullies or feeling isolated and alone while under institutional attack. From sisters in leadership level and in ivory towers, to Black women working at the post office or airline counters. These attacks are even more troubling because they coincide with the end of institutional programs designed to level the playing field, like affirmative action, or to provide support like diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) initiatives. 

The self-care that Black female experts have called for is important but may not be enough. The types of gatherings spurred by the loss of Candia-Bailey are another solution. They are examples of community care, which is a part of self-care. Community building is especially needed in our individualistic society, which is a source of our struggle. By forging alliances and actively building community, we can help to mitigate the isolation that so many of us feel.  

Consider ways to create community. Start by doing some self-reflection. You may want to write out answers to the following questions: 

  • What kind of community would be helpful to me? 

  • What would I need from that community and what can I contribute? 

  • Who can I enlist to help or to co-create and share responsibility for the community I seek?

Here are some ways to build connection and community:

  • Find your tribe. Gathering with others who have similar experiences, interests, and goals is an important part of building community. You could connect with women who share your racial, ethnic or cultural background. They could be working in your industry or in an area that is related to something you’re interested in. The idea is to build a support system where you share goals and values. Post an invitation on your social media and send an email, inviting like minds – trusted friends and colleagues – to join you at an appointed time and you could start meeting virtually. Have a loose agenda, focusing on why you are there. One goal could be to eventually share your worst experiences and biggest dreams. You could list possible topics like setting boundaries, responding to bullies, and getting rest to avoid burnout. Encourage one another to be brave while setting ground rules for confidentiality. Whoever has the mic gets to speak and the group can hold space for any individual who is struggling. An action could be gathering and sharing information and resources, and agreeing on ways to hold each other accountable. Plan to meet again and consider regularly scheduled meetings. Over time, you can collectively clarify the mission of your group.  

  • Seek a workplace mentor or sponsor. A mentor is an individual who can give you guidance and coaching, while a sponsor takes their advocacy for you a step further by helping you to climb the ladder at your job or in your career. With either, it’s important to make sure your relationship is a two-way street, that you are thinking about and offering ways to be supportive to them, too. Your contribution to them could be through providing your perspective or time or talent should they need it. Keep in mind that our mentors don’t always have to be Black. Also, consider being a mentor to someone else. 

  • Take action. Join organized groups that allow you to connect with others in ways that don’t involve work. For example, organizations like GirlTrek or Black Girls Run offer solidarity around taking care of your health through physical activity. Higher Heights for America is a political action committee that hosts virtual events and provides information about Black women running for office. Another option is to be more active in a group you already belong to, like by joining a committee within your sorority or house of worship. If you are not inclined to join an organization or committee, you could simply register with a group you support to receive information and potentially volunteer on a limited basis. However you choose to participate will help build connection around issues that interest you. 

  • Reach out. Be intentional about staying in touch with friends, colleagues and associates – both new and old. Put it on your calendar like an appointment to ensure you will make a call or connect virtually with the people in your life.